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Little England reasserts itself yet again

April 21, 2017

Of course we like the Scots
In small wee doses,
But Scots we are not
And we could never be as divided as the Irish are,
Or have been, as they persist in insisting,
So we shan’t be Irish either
Though sometimes one does wish
To be a bit more Irish…
As for Welsh Wales, well
It’s on the train, but basically
It’s the start of the colonies
The British Empire’s first splash of pink on the map
And as for Europe, we can do without them
They can be impolite, barely ever even speak English
Hardly ever, anyway, not pronouncing it properly
Or really even meaning whatever it is that they’re saying.
No respect! That’s the problem
So, yet again, us mugginses, the English
Shall have to stand alone
Right behind America, our special friends the US,
Digging in our heels, digging for victory
Like, you know, during the war
(Which we won, by the way,
Thanks to our sheer jolly hard work and gracious Royal family)
Alone to face the world’s big global problems
Without any help from Johnnie foreigner,
But, hopefully, with the long term effect
Of us English staying safely within the soggy confines
Of this complacently tight, carefully portioned out
Happily obsessive, sadly small minded little green island, England.

 

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