Skip to content

Busted for Muttering

August 1, 2014

So I got to the wrong end of the vegetable aisle at Asda

When a formidable young mum blocked the way, I couldn’t get past her

With her kid, her pram and what, for the sake of the rhyme and the narrative

I shall describe as a truculent looking elderly relative.

Perhaps telling her child off for requesting some fruit

Or similarly engaged, she stayed obstructing my route

While I stood discreetly by, a model of restraint

Tolerating her boorish behaviour with the patience of a saint

Merely remarking, more to myself than to her

“Take your time, don’t worry, I can wait here forever!”

However, she not only heard what I’d said but addressed me

With that admirable Southampton manner of speaking extremely directly

“Just ask if you want me to move, I aint psychic,”

She said aggressively, nudging her sidekick

“What’s the matter? Don’t you know what to say?

Just ask me politely to get out of the way.”

Yet somehow I couldn’t and backed away silently

Droll monologue crushed, heart beating violently

Exchanging one last, not unsympathetic glance

With the child of the woman who’d stopped my advance.

Usually accustomed to being ignored

My witty soliloquies prevent my getting bored

But, though I often yearn to share my wit

On this occasion I didn’t enjoy it one bit

The woman was right, I had no reason to sneer

She had her business and I must’ve looked queer

A miserable old man, muttering under his breath

Unfit for anything but loneliness and death

If I’d been nicer about it we may

Have become friends at the end of the day

Instead of which I was left, alone and full of shame

With nobody but myself upon whom to heap blame.

After that I have tried to keep my thoughts to myself

To remember that muttering aloud shows poor mental health

But still, one cannot help thinking one’s thoughts

It seems that people constantly demand observations and retorts

Which, when you try to keep them silently in your head

Compel you to pull extravagant facial expressions instead

And that’s even more ageing so, I think quite rightly

I’ll carry on making smart remarks, but really really quietly.

[Can’t come up with anything new yet, but I don’t think I’ve blogged this before; if I have, I apologise, but it must’ve been a while. And it’s a reminder of a bad habit of mine that has been getting me into trouble lately, again!]


From → Critic, Poet

Leave a Comment

Please add your comments!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


Celebrating Southampton's libraries through writing and craft


Dreamy Creamy Reading

Caffeinated Ramblings

Be kind to yourself. You're worth it.

Agnes Torok

Spoken word poet & workshop leader

Burning Eye Books

Never Knowingly Mainstream

Shakespeare's World

A Zooniverse project blog

I am not a silent poet

A magazine for poetry and artwork protesting against abuse in any of its forms

the void

narking off the state since 2005

Aidin Vaziri

Blue Lines: Interviews, Features and Reviews

The Renegade Press

Tales from the mouth of a wolf

Northern Nevermore

So that I can live the life I want to, even if it's not real.


since 2003


The official page of the artist created to host the project 'CUT OFF'.

The Junkyard

dream create share

The poor side of life

Exposing the unfair treatment of jobseekers, the horrors of Universal Credit, unfair sanctions and heinous treatment of claimants at Ashton under Lyne Jobcentre.

Graeme Sandford

Serial Quiller

50 Shades of me


Mindfully Untitled

Becoming a better you

JPF Goodman

An interesting read almost every Friday!

The Shakespeare Code

The Bard, Love, Religion and Politics


Poetic Landscapes Of The Spirit

Bano's World

An Inner Monologue

Silverfinger Press

A Small Press for FINE writing and Illustration

{ The Undecided Art Collective }

An Art Collective.....people getting together and Doing Art stuff...,putting on exhibitions..without having to pay through the nozzle....defying the usual and bringing home the 'new'.....thankyou..♥


4 out of 5 dentists recommend this site

Natasha4mp's Blog

Just another site

jeff young's notebooks

outlaws and demons

Lisa Scullard

- Just another indie author letting things get out of hand :)


"Owls are not what they seem"

Geo Sans

“right answer, wrong question”

Poesy plus Polemics

Words of Wonder, Worry and Whimsy

Intensify It

© Anca Dunavete


A journalist's view from the scrapheap

Poems & People

what if poems could be symphonies, and people their orchestra?


Poetry, story and real life.


She turns coffee into books so she can afford to buy more coffee. And more books.

The Neighborhood

The Story within the Story

Thailand Footprint: Impressions left by the books, people, places and music of Thailand and South East Asia

Thailand Footprint: People, Things, Literature, Music and Henry Miller too. Forget Yourself Here

Adult & Teen Fiction

Read on and I will show you another world within this one....


an adventure in reading, writing & publishing

Wuji Seshat

Selected Poems

Playwrights' Competition Calendar

Competitions and other opportunities for script writers.

%d bloggers like this: