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Another mistresspiece from Mae West I’ve often enjoyed your Weekend movie slot, so here’s a classic movie you may not have seen:

Klondike Annie  another mistresspiece from Mae West.
(also on my tumblr

Been waiting ages to find this on the tube. Thanks so much, Classic film channel for sharing this, based on her stage play. Mae is the most self confident woman you’ll ever see on screen. She’s well supported by Director Raol Walsh and costars Victor McLaglen and  Reed, and Annie, of course.
West is perfectly in control of her film, as always, and gives a superb performance, dreadful but compelling, and plays demure charmingly here as well.
The most I know about Mae West comes from Jill Watts biography ‘Mae West An Icon in Black and White’ (Oxford University Press, 2001).

Favourite tweets


Busted for Muttering

So I got to the wrong end of the vegetable aisle at Asda

When a formidable young mum blocked the way, I couldn’t get past her

With her kid, her pram and what, for the sake of the rhyme and the narrative

I shall describe as a truculent looking elderly relative.

Perhaps telling her child off for requesting some fruit

Or similarly engaged, she stayed obstructing my route

While I stood discreetly by, a model of restraint

Tolerating her boorish behaviour with the patience of a saint

Merely remarking, more to myself than to her

“Take your time, don’t worry, I can wait here forever!”

However, she not only heard what I’d said but addressed me

With that admirable Southampton manner of speaking extremely directly

“Just ask if you want me to move, I aint psychic,”

She said aggressively, nudging her sidekick

“What’s the matter? Don’t you know what to say?

Just ask me politely to get out of the way.”

Yet somehow I couldn’t and backed away silently

Droll monologue crushed, heart beating violently

Exchanging one last, not unsympathetic glance

With the child of the woman who’d stopped my advance.

Usually accustomed to being ignored

My witty soliloquies prevent my getting bored

But, though I often yearn to share my wit

On this occasion I didn’t enjoy it one bit

The woman was right, I had no reason to sneer

She had her business and I must’ve looked queer

A miserable old man, muttering under his breath

Unfit for anything but loneliness and death

If I’d been nicer about it we may

Have become friends at the end of the day

Instead of which I was left, alone and full of shame

With nobody but myself upon whom to heap blame.

After that I have tried to keep my thoughts to myself

To remember that muttering aloud shows poor mental health

But still, one cannot help thinking one’s thoughts

It seems that people constantly demand observations and retorts

Which, when you try to keep them silently in your head

Compel you to pull extravagant facial expressions instead

And that’s even more ageing so, I think quite rightly

I’ll carry on making smart remarks, but really really quietly.

[Can't come up with anything new yet, but I don't think I've blogged this before; if I have, I apologise, but it must've been a while. And it's a reminder of a bad habit of mine that has been getting me into trouble lately, again!]

Introducing John Bruce

Talented film maker and poet and a good friend, John has added enormously to my life with his friendship and practical assistance that has, for example, enabled me to keep this blog going for another year (despite recent paid employment induced lapses) by replacing and fine tuning my hardware.

Not an in your face kind of poet, John delivers his verse in a quiet style, that contrasts pleasantly with the way he rabbits and raves on the telephone, but even then he is interesting and witty, or enthusiastic at least. Like many an artist before him, John has his vices, chief of which may be photography, but he has skills, no doubt.

The first piece here, made during the Apples and Snakes / City Eye Poetry Film Workshop Weekend 5 & 6th July 2014, strikes me as a masterly piece of film making

Almost a Poem

And he’s allowed me to share two more pieces.

In This Poem

Music and pictures prominent. But there are some very finely chosen words here.

The Beast of Burnley

Yes, that’ s really him speaking!  Showing his Essex roots. However, I suspect that the sculpture was crafted by another, and that John will give details in a comment when he has a moment.

Along with his work John’s attitude to it is something to admire – he’s not in it for the money, but to share the love, man, and other stuff, obviously. So enjoy this special guest poet and I’ll be back to suck the enjoyment right out of you, perhaps as soon as next Friday – I’ve got the weekend off!

As every Schoolkid knows


As every schoolkid knows

Racism can be fun

But it’s always wrong

Just another kind of name calling

Bullying, picking a fight for no good reason.

Name calling is of course essential

To the educational process

As we learn to call things by their right names

And try to find the answers to all those important questions

While avoiding becoming a show off and/or a bore.

No question has only one correct answer

Context is all, so give an answer appropriate to the occasion

With a suitable amount of detail, no less nor more

And a tone that matches that of the questioner.

Try to follow the best examples when you have questions of your own.


Not providing an answer can seem neglectful or rude

So if you find yourself unable to respond immediately or appropriately

You may be able to gain time by promising to do so at some definite future date

Just don’t expect anyone to wait indefinitely for your response, however great

And keep in mind what has come to be expected of you.

Giving unbidden answers may be welcomed

But, just as questions can provoke a surprising response from you

So the opinions you share may be surprisingly responded to;

Take great care when asserting that an opinion you have is true,

You may think you’re speaking the truth, but where’s your proof?

It’s grand and important to give things a name

To remember where the name is from.

The object, subject or person you name is rarely the same to everyone

So try to be understood and to understand

How best to represent that thing, yourself, who you are and where you’re from.

The Extraordinary Poetry of Mark Ullah Khan

[Mark Khan is a remarkable artist, musician, friend and now - partly thanks to my influence, I like to think! - poet. The following is an example of his poetry.]

Absorb the Succulence

Feathery meat is in the stockings of wheat
The taste of haste was the arrow in the eye of 1066
The delicate knit in the knights of the Bayeaux Tapestry
Tapping on the sty of the cross bedded pitch for the joy of the hit
Expanding mind or shrinking organs that abbreviate the storm through a bullet holed sieve.


I asked for runner beans if you please,
We must save the pods of the succulent peas
Condor the moment as silence flies above head
Seen not but hovering in the dark of night
How coarse is the bark of an elm tree in the height of winter
The farmer’s garden forever absorbs the succulence in hindsight
The high priestess’s insight, you may or you might
Try to flourish in the height of the tallest strife.

Mark Ullah Khan



[To illustrate this poem, I've added images from the Bayeaux Tapestry and Piers Ploughman, but Mark's own art can be seen in many places, including Southampton's newest gallery and he continues to be creative at all levels, at a frighteningly prodigious rate!]

Who’s Left Alive?


You spend your life defying death

Reanimating the dead as they appear

On screens, in books, in petty details in your memory.

You live in your own little world

Populated by the absent few on your list of favourites

Those you still want to love, impress, argue or discuss things with.

You ignore the living but they are surrounding you

As you all fight on alone for your survival

And the continuation of what you know.

You should look around, see who’s left alive

Still moving, teeming with need

Wanting the presence and attention of another being.

The world of the living is a scary place

But now this is what you have to face.


Performing at Write Angle


This clip shows my first (hopefully not last) appearance at Write Angle, the open mic event in Petersfield run by Leah and Jake Cohen, who video every person who gets up and make You Tubes for free!  Every month is different and that makes it exciting, as you never know how it will turn out but one thing for sure is that you’ll have a memorable evening.

You’ll be warmly welcomed to their monthly events at The Square Brewery in Petersfield, and you can see more videos of past performers, by David Stone,  by visiting their website here:

I particularly enjoyed Gareth Toms’ ‘Cycling Takes the Mute out of Commuting’

For Ship to Shore

Here’s my contribution as one of the poets involved in this event:, which took place at the John Hansard Gallery last Friday.

Thanks to John Bruce for his help with this, and to Hannah Collins and all at the John Hansard Gallery for organising this event and inviting me to be a part of it.

With love from JPF

Here it is, my second ebook,  the series of 32 line Love Poems I wrote back in 2003-4,  at the introductory price of just 99p

It’s available in all popular ebook formats, so be careful to choose the right button:


For Ipad: btn_buynow_LG


For Kindle: btn_buynow_LG


For PC/MAC: btn_buynow_LG

It’s not much but I would like to dedicate it to the small but select and growing band of readers without whom this blog could not have grown and continued to exist for almost two years.  Thank you all for your interest and support.

“If a bird can jump through the air
If human machinery can free a song from the bonds of distance and time
Can’t the wonders and the good things in my heart
Somehow make themselves known in yours?”



JPF Goodman

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